New Hope In The Lord
       International Ministries

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A letter from an Atheist woman about abortion:

Many say that abortion trauma happens to those who believe in God and they got convicted because of an abortion. The following article is about an atheist who came to realize too late that abortion was murder.


I'm one of millions of women you never hear about. We had legal abortions because we thought they were safe. They arent

I was 22 when I had my abortion and I didn't feel strongly one way or the other about the issue.

In some ways I was luckier than other women. I didnt die. I didn't have to have a colostomy or a hysterectomy like many women do because their organs are punctured by the surgical instruments.


But what did happen to me happens to most women. We suffer from a complication nobody talks about. It is the wrenching mental and emotional torment of post-abortion denial. We'll do anything to deny the fact that we killed our babies. It's a very painful fact, and we have to deny it to avoid the pain.

Denial can last a long time. For 10 years I went to extremes to protect myself from the truth. I wouldn't read or listen to anything about pregnancy or fetal development. I couldn't stand to hear about preborn babies. I couldn't take a course, read a poem, listen to a song, unless I was sure it would reinforce the pro-abortion philosophy.

The denial doesn't work unless you restrict your own freedom to think.

Eventually the truth surfaces, and it hurts. I spent six months in crisis with nightmares, crying spells, anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts. The first thing on my mind each morning was that I killed my baby.


I was in a panic and needed help. I called abortion clinics, told them I was pro-choice and begged them to help me. They said they didn't do that kind of counseling. Some laughed. Some just hung up on me. TO them I was a non-person - just like my baby. They had no trouble denying the existence of post-abortion trauma because they had years of practice denying the existence of the pre-born victims of abortion.

Fortunately, I fond help from a psychologist trained in post-abortion therapy.


Abortion activists tell me I just couldn't handle it. But I am handling it. It's they who can't handle the truth about the abortion. They're doing exactly what I did when I was trying to suppress the truth. You can see it in their eyes, their words, their faces. They're very angry at pro-lifers. Why? Because pro-lifers talk about the baby. They don't want to hear or talk about the baby. Thats why they've made abortion a "woman's rights" issue. It keeps the focus off the baby.

They can find reasons to justify any abortion: the mothers too young, too old, or unmarried; she's a student, a career woman, or poor; the baby's handicapped, unwanted, or a financial burden. You name it. In fact, they dont have one reason, why a woman shouldnt have an abortion, if she wants one.

I did the same thins they're doing. I feel sorry for them, but I can't excuse the damage they're doing to other women with their sloganeering and their political moves.


They tell me my abortion trauma happened because I violated my religious beliefs. But I'm an atheist. Nobody needs religion to tell her that abortion kills her unborn child.

I'm still angry. I'm angry at the abortion industry for not telling me that at eleven weeks my baby had arms and legs, fingers and toes, even facial expressions. I'm angry because they never warned me my baby would feel pain during the abortion.


Ever day women who have had legal abortions come out of the denial syndrome and they need help. A lot of us belong to self-help groups, and it works.

With one another we say what we really feel. We all wish we had never had abortions. We all admit that if abortion hadn't been legal, we wouldnt have had them.

Choose life.